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“Moving along before I vomit. Then you switched to the offensive side of the ball and dated Tyrell. I’ll give you credit there. Tyrell’s pretty cool but every girl in the school wanted to kill you when you two started dating.” “He was a bit full of himself. All we ever talked about was how good of a football player he was and how he was getting a scholarship,” I said. “I don’t know why I’m asking this but is it true what they say about black men?” “No, not always...” I said and was about to continue. “No! No! Stop. That’s all I want to know. I don’t need details.” “Why are we going through my dating history?” I asked. “Wait. ‘Not always’? What’s that mean?” Mark asked with a confused look on his face. “It means ‘Not always’. Not all black men are huge. What do you think it means?” “Is this something you know from experience? Who else did you go out with?” “I wouldn’t exactly say we went out as much as... ah, hooked up.” “Oh my God. You’re such a little slut. How is it I’ve lived next. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-u-lating.” You would think that she could be nicer.It was like she could barely tolerate me.She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light.Then if I made a right turn instead.Well, it was not a good relationship.When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house.We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.The world is just getting too complex for me.They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or.
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